Not Every Woman Fakes Her Orgasms
There seems to be this tall tale that if a woman is climaxing at a rate deemed more frequent than average, then she must be faking at least one of them.
Well, think again.
As a woman who has yet to feed the ego of the man thrusting into her with kudos of pleasure-giving performance based on false information, I can assure you that this theory does not apply to all of us. You see, one thing that I have learned is that the sooner you get to know yourself on your own time, the easier it is to direct the giver to the places that will achieve true orgasm.
In a study by Psychology Today, the reasons why women reportedly fake orgasm are the following:
- They wanted their partner to feel successful (57.1 percent).
- They wanted sex to end because they felt tired (44.6 percent).
- They liked their sexual partner and didn’t want them to feel bad (37.7 percent).
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If you’re skipping out on any of these things, you’re likely doing it wrong.
However, a further survey provided the reasons why women no longer fake their orgasm:
- Feeling more comfortable now with sex, whether or not an orgasm occurred (46.6 percent).
- Feeling more confident with themselves as a woman (35.3 percent).
- Feeling like their partner accepts them and is happy with them, even if they don’t have an orgasm (34.0 percent).
The authors hypothesized that a lack of sexual communication may be partially responsible for orgasm faking. After all, if we can clearly tell our partner how and where we like to be touched, (and if they are receptive to hearing our likes and curiously asking questions), then we might have a better chance of experiencing sexual pleasure. On the contrary, if we do not feel comfortable talking about sex with our partner, or have a partner who isn’t open to hearing what we like or want, there is less of a chance that our needs will be met.
The results of this study certainly support this logic. Specifically, when the authors looked at women who reported that they have faked, and continue to fake orgasms, these women indicated that they found explicitly talking about sex with a partner to be embarrassing and were less likely to agree that they and their partner are able to successfully discuss what makes sex more pleasurable for each of them.
Faking orgasms is a commonly reported experience for many women (and even some men). This could be due to the fact that many women have not been encouraged to prioritize or advocate for their sexual pleasure.
Ultimately, the importance of sexual dialogue is imperative in any relationship — be it romantic or strictly physical. The risk you take in a faked climax is the assumption your partner will make that what he or she is doing is working when it isn’t. Honesty is the best policy, especially when it comes to bedroom activities.