How I Use BDSM To Recover From Sexual Trauma

BDSM: An overlapping abbreviation of Bondage and Discipline (BD), Dominance and Submission (DS), Sadism and Masochism (SM)

Photo by Artem Labunsky on Unsplash

To this day, I can still hear my dad saying, “How could you be such a slut? I bet his pubes got caught in your braces, didn’t they? F*cking slut.”

Sure, I anticipated trauma and an impact that would last the duration of several years to follow, but an oral fixation never crossed my mind as a potential consequence and certainly not a world where being degraded mid-intimacy would become my biggest turn on. Of course, it wasn’t just the one event that perpetuated such a unique approach to sex. The event that night was neither the first, nor the last, episode of non-consensual intimacy I would encounter and after each one, the ripple effect became more difficult to ignore.

It was the approach to recovery many of us take when we feel desperation to replace the non-consensual touch of another with that of one we have a ‘say so’ in.

Shedding light on the activities typically kept in the dark.

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