A Road Map To Sexual Satisfaction While In A Long Distance Relationship
How to satisfy your sexual urges while maintaining fidelity in the relationship
It used to be that I would cringe at the mere thought of introducing distance into my relationship. In fact, nearly every single relationship I have had ended the moment one or both of us moved away from the other. As a self-proclaimed nymphomaniac, the idea of inconvenient sex while in a relationship feels impossible to stick with — that was until I discovered that everything I ever needed to satisfy my sweet spots was already around me.
Though my partner and I will often exchange risque photos and videos, there is only so much you can do to fulfill the urges as they come. Being that it isn’t always convenient to sext and certainly isn’t always the best time to ride a dildo on cam in the shower for my man, we have been able to find creative ways to keep the spark alive and mitigate the risk of sexual frustration.
I often enjoy sending a picture where I feel sexy or a video I know will make him climax at sporadic times of the day just to see how he will respond. I picture the moment he gets the text in the middle of a work meeting or over lunch with a friend and immediately gets a hard-on he can’t shake. The idea of restricting that sexual release until it’s an appropriate time can be a major turn-on.
Try recording a video or snapping a photo of you in a suggestive position, perhaps one he or she has been talking about for days, and let him or her know just how much you’re looking forward to the next chance you get to do so in person. Ask them to record their reaction and make it hot — the sound of her orgasm or the sight of his dick erupting.
Invest in a good sex toy
Sex toys are severely underrated and many women and men are denying themselves the ultimate satisfaction for no other reason than their unfamiliarity with the right toy’s ‘game-changing’ abilities. I once had a friend who shared with me that since her separation, she has yet to orgasm and it had been years. I figured she meant she hadn’t had an orgasm from sex since then until she corrected me and shared she hadn’t come at all in years.
I was floored. The fact that I was standing before a woman who had yet to take matters into her own hands (literally) and taken the time to spoil her genitalia herself almost upset me. Though we never had more conversation about it, I can only assume she has yet to embark on that glorious journey, but I certainly hope she did.
Get to know yourself (and your parts)
Many of us don’t realize the importance of knowing our bodies and wait until desperate times to do so, but it doesn’t have to just be when you’re single and lonely that you take the time to explore ‘down there.’ Consider the benefits in the bedroom if you were to know your body better than anyone else and rather than letting your partner figure it out, you’ve already done the research for them.
Women and men will both admit that they love it when a person knows what they want and can direct them to the exact place they know will bring climax — not to mention, this is a surefire way to boost a person’s confidence. Take some time to get to know the things you like and the places you like so the next time you and your partner are reunited, you can double the number of orgasms and triple the satisfaction.
Keep the lines of communication open
I have no clue how relationships achieve a successful sex life if they cannot first talk about it. I love to hear the things my partner wants from me — even insists on. I want to hear about the things my partner craves from me and the thoughts he can’t get out of his head as it relates to our sex life. If you are struggling to work through the distance, the first person you should notify is your partner and then allow creativity to help work the situation out.
For my partner and I, we are a month into a long-distance relationship and though it has been trying at times, we are enjoying the ways we can make each other come, even from hundreds of miles away. To know that the sight of me pleasuring myself causes him to climax is so incredibly sexy. The more we shared, the more we craved that feeling of the other so…we planned a trip for February. A weekend filled with restraints, ball gags, role play, toys, porn, and whatever else we decide to incorporate into our weekend of sexual ecstasy. A weekend away spent exploring a new place (and each other).
Even if a trip isn’t possible in the immediate or near future, try planning phone sex. Tell your partner you are going to Facetime them at x o’clock and to be ready to play. If you aren’t comfortable coming right out and saying the things that you want, perhaps find a porno that will show them exactly what you want to happen the next time you two are in a room together. The anticipation, excitement, and curiosity can drive a person wild in the best way.
Ultimately, distance can prompt you to do one of two things — forget about fidelity or encourage sexual creativity. I, myself, am committed to the latter because I know no person I irresponsibly introduce into the bedroom, will be able to make me orgasm as hard and as quickly as I can do for myself. Don’t allow a lack of physical intimacy to replace the importance of discussion and to cause you to lose sight of the opportunities you still have to be playful and hardly innocent with your long-distance partner.